By now, you’ve heard that Jennifer Garner gave an exclusive interview to Vanity Fair. Like many of you, I wondered what she would say about Ben Affleck, or if she would mention the nanny (I am only human). So, I read the interview. And to my surprise, Jennifer approached the interview with healthy honesty.
You won’t find any mud-slinging as we often see in divorces. Jennifer doesn’t attempt to minimize her pain, feelings or love for Ben. She doesn’t point fingers. And while she talked about the nanny, it was more about the impact her sudden departure had on her children than the rumors of the affair. I got the impression Jennifer made a conscious decision (perhaps in therapy) to show up and just “own it.”
For me, that’s the real takeaway from the VF interview.
Even though the last year was painful, publicly messy and most likely, humiliating for Jennifer, she didn’t deny it, try to shrug it off or detract from it. Nor did she see this as an opportunity to throw the father of her children under the bus. That doesn’t mean, however, that she held back. In fact, her truth was far more revealing than any slanderous remarks. Jennifer Garner is a reminder that you can rise from the ashes with dignity and speak your truth without participating in character assassination.
The following are the 8 quotes from the interview that I think tells us the real story.
Jennifer laughingly admitted she’s not opposed to numbing the pain.
“It’s been a year of wine.” ‘She said laughing.’
She struggles with insomnia as so many of us do after a life-changing event.
“When I can’t sleep-and I’m not someone who typically has that problem, but I really have in the last year-and I need something to switch my brain off, it has been Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. God bless those girls.”
The marriage was real and she wanted it to work.
“It was a real marriage. It wasn’t for the cameras. And it was a huge priority to stay in it. And that did not work.”
Ben hasn’t come clean.
He’s still the only person who knows the truth about things. And I’m still the only person that knows some of his truths.
She mentioned the nanny.
“We had been seperated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce.”
Like most moms her kids are her primary focus.
“I cannot let anger or hurt be my engine. I need to move with the big picture always on my mind, and the kids first and foremost.”
She loved her man and has no regrets about it. Good for her!
“I didn’t marry the big fat movie star, I married him. And I would go back and remake that decision.”
And now for the quote that provides the most insight to their marriage and her ex husband, Ben.
He’s the love of my life. What am I going to do about that? He’s the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He’s just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”
May you have a good weekend!