Entry: Saturday May 1st | Menopause Brain Diary
It’s 5 a.m. I can’t sleep. This is the third day this week. Insomnia is the worst it’s been in a long time. I’m experiencing racing thoughts, an overactive bladder (like every 5 minutes overactive) and a lot of twitching (or spasms). I’ve also had chills the last two days. I usually find myself going between hot flashes and chills.
I’m feeling frustrated and hopeless.
When I don’t sleep I feel physically terrible. I’ll feel hungover all day, today. I hate that feeling. I hate that no sleep, now, means I’ll be useless all day. It cuts into my goals and plans for that day.
Yesterday, I felt mentally ‘checked out.’ I didn’t want to talk and I didn’t want to listen, either.
There’s no denying menopause has been a little hard on me this week. I think I’m not getting enough exercise. When I exercise regularly, I feel better. I sleep better. At this phase in life, sleep is so important to overall good health.
I’ve been binge watching shows. Reading and writing. I know what the sleep experts say. They say shut your phone off. But whoever said that has never experienced hormonal shifts or menopause. No doubt, the expert is a man.
When I have these menopause episodes I liken them to fevers . Eventually they’ll break and I feel good, again. But until then, I feel terrible.
I’m so tired I want to yell, scream, curse and punch the air. Instead, I’ll just wait it out. Plan to stay home all day. And get outside and do some exercise.
I hope tomorrow is better than today.
